Crazy Jay's Rating Agency

  • Bargain Service

    This is a service that has the bargain cost of five dollars. You send us five dollars, your name, email address, and the investment that you wish for us to investigate. We will then call the people seeking the investment and ask them what we should rate the investment as. Now we know that this service is provided for free by our competitors so to justify this expense, we will send you a fully customized email that will include your name and the rating chosen by the people offering the investment. Although we think it is likely that this service will often return a result of “Best Investment Ever” which is our highest rating, you never know. We encourage you to roll the dice anyway as it is clearly safer to investigate your investments rather than go into a deal with no investigation whatsoever.
  • Super massive platinum service including link to sample report

    This service comes at a cost of 10 million dollars. The first thing we will do is hire a team of financial gurus to go to the people offering the investment and investigate its dealings. An MBA will get 500,000 to analyze their business model/investment and try to determine their potential for profit over the next decade broken down by year. A million dollars will be sent to a private investigator to look into the history of the major players in the company or creators of the investment. A lawyer will be hired for 500,000 to make sure that the company/investment creators are in good legal standing and have properly protected the investment for the future. Also the lawyer will look for any glaring signs of fraud. Three accountants will be tasked with each independently running the numbers to look for any signs of accounting games. These guys will each get 500,000. 6 million will be paid to ex-Blackwater employees to enter their offices to steal all of their information as well as water board the major players to ensure they are telling the truth. This also lets them know we are serious investors. The final half million will be set aside to go to the employment of unsavory characters should anyone complain about our methods. For an example of the report our customers will receive at the conclusion of our activities Click Here.
  • Services In between the two levels

    Give us a call and tell us what you want to spend and we will customize a plan for rating that meets your budget