Isolation is another scam I fell for.\u00a0 Up until reading the article, I believed that I was the one who isolated myself.\u00a0 When I first noticed the traffic I made efforts to get people away from me because I knew it was going somewhere bad and I couldn’t take people to that bad place with me.\u00a0 Now I treasure my isolation because I don’t trust anyone in the slightest and why hang out with people you don’t trust.\u00a0 When I look back, I realize I was just helping the abusers with these actions. I would probably help with the isolation again because it is the only way to go through something like this without causing others damage.<\/p>\n
However, enjoying being isolated is presenting its own problems and two of them are most notable.\u00a0 The first problem I experienced just yesterday.\u00a0 You don’t want to be alone sometimes but you will be damned if you are going to subject yourself to others.\u00a0 This leaves you stuck in your head and thinking.\u00a0 You feel like shit, you are alone and you see no end in sight to this behavior.\u00a0 Its not like you can pick up the phone and call someone.\u00a0 As you sit there knowing you will be isolated and alone for the rest of your life, your thoughts start going to bad places.\u00a0 Sleep is the only cure I have found for this.\u00a0 When you wake up the next morning often the spell has passed and you can go on with your life.<\/p>\n
The other problem is you can’t go anywhere like the doctor, dentist or even food shopping.\u00a0 You know your very existence is offensive so you desperately try to find ways not to impact other people’s lives.\u00a0 You spend your life at night when most people are asleep.\u00a0 You let your body decay rather then imposing on other people’s lives.\u00a0 Currently I am missing two fillings and am waiting for my teeth to fall out rather then disturb a dentist.\u00a0 My knee is quickly degenerating and I know I won’t be able to walk soon.\u00a0 I shop at night or first thing in the morning to avoid disturbing people with my very presence.\u00a0 Isolation sucks but the options on the table make it the least of all the evils.<\/p>\n
It has certainly been made clear that anywhere I walk leaves me making somebody else’s life worse.\u00a0 This is never reflected more then in employment.\u00a0 I am unemployable and not just because of the isolation created by my tormentors but also because I fear bringing disharmony to everything and anything.\u00a0 I need to be employed but I just don’t see how I can operate without a job that I can do from inside my home.\u00a0 Those are not easy to come by.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Isolation is another scam I fell for.\u00a0 Up until reading the article, I believed that I was the one who isolated myself.\u00a0 When I first noticed the traffic I made efforts to get people away from me because I knew it was going somewhere bad and I couldn’t take people to that bad place with … <\/p>\n