Although the traffic has wronged me in several ways while pretending they are all saints from on high, the most difficult thing for me which they still do is this thing called gas lighting. To be honest, until recently I thought it was just something unique that they did and didn’t realize that it is so common place that it actually has a name.
I truly feel bad for anyone who has experienced it. It is so frustrating it can bring you to tears. Well maybe that is just me because I don’t tear when I am sad. I tear when frustrated or when I want to kill someone.
I am stuck in this weird relationship with the traffic and they still do this to this day. They use police, doctors, and most things in society that you guys depend on as toys to gas light me. That isn’t accurate because all that stuff that you depend on are voluntarily helping to gas light me and they are involved more due to the isolation category and not the gas lighting category.
They started the gas lighting and isolation process twenty years ago and continue to this day, I have been unable to come up with a way to prevent it. If I leave then I starve to death and if I stay I am going to be abused by everyone here. This is definitely the approach my family chose to take twenty years ago and they are still doing it. I used to get so angry when they would do it but now it is second nature. Something that must be tolerated.
I do find some humor in the memories of them doing it. I think they would be most disappointed by the fact that it has a name. I remember how clever they thought they were being doing it. I can imagine how disappointed they would feel learning that they weren’t being clever at all and instead they were just being stereotypical emotional abusers.
None the less as disappointed as they might be about not being revolutionary, they were successful and I guess I have to take my hat off to them for achieving high marks in their gas lighting skills.
The point of gas lighting is to make the person distrust themselves and place the individuals doing it in a position of power over them. I remember Paul screaming in my face twenty years back, “Jay, you are insane. You must trust us over yourself or we will have to have you put in a mental institution.” Much to my chagrin, I said yes and followed their lead into this hell I call my life. Hook, line and sinker but when the cops are dumping you in the psych ward and the doctors are prescribing you drugs and there seams to be a global conspiracy (which lets face it, that is a sign of insanity in and of itself), everything seams to add up to being insane.
Once they have you insane you are screwed. I knew I was screwed twenty years ago but I always thought the world as a whole was above gas lighting behavior. Now I realize that the world as a whole isn’t above anything.