There is something in my life for the last twenty years I call the traffic. It really is as simple as a large group of people being shitty to me where ever I walk. For the first five years, I would push back on it. It always had the result of my being sent to the looney bin or having pills thrown down my throat. Some of those pills were quite painful. Now I only speak of it when I am trying to learn about it. I thought I would give it a chance on this blog to speak its mind rather then sliding up to me and saying slurs. I doubt it is man or woman enough to take the opportunity to do so but if I don’t give it the option, I can’t say I tried everything.
Everyone seems to choose to believe I had no idea this was happening as it happened but the facts say otherwise. That is all the past and it doesn’t much matter. I will break the rest of my post into two parts. The first part is the opinion of me that the traffic has.
THE TRAFFIC’S PERSPECTIVE
Jay is a loser piece of shit with no education and no job and he is scum. He is an asshole and no matter how shitty we treat him, he deserves worse. I hope he dies and none of us had anything to do with where he is at. What is happening to him is all his fault and we are noble, upright and justified in treating this stupid, stupid man however we wish. We made an example of him but truth be told we did nothing wrong to him ever. (Oh and recently I was called a hypocrite but I will address that in a later post)
MY PERSPECTIVE
Twenty years ago I was an animal. I changed greatly although not completely since then. You treat me in ways that I would never treat someone else and in ways that you would never accept being treated which to me makes you a hypocrite. I have sat back and listened to this crap for 5 years with saying something and fifteen years barely responding because a response is always met with the same result. You have stood in my way whenever I have tried bettering myself whether through employment or education. Then you throw food and curse at me for not bettering myself which is nothing more then a sanctimonious self fulfilling prophecy. I have been given quite the financial boon and good living arrangements in exchange for your abuse and I probably should be grateful but my opinion of the traffic is really quite similar to its opinion of me. I feel the members of the traffic are petty individuals who scope the world looking for individuals to be shitty to that will not deny them social acceptance. I feel that your anger at me is a by product of hating your life and somehow you need that feeling of superiority that I have provided you over these last twenty years.
I think a lot more but I really just want a baseline to convince you assholes to put more then one word whispers in my comments so everyone can get this stupid shit out of the way and I can find a way to better myself that doesn’t leave me so frustrated that I cry tears of anger. Basically, I am tired of you guys getting in my way when I try to better myself and then bitching that I don’t better myself. Its not the genius move that you seem to think its. Please comment. I will edit words that are too gross for my site but for the most part I want your worst assessment so that I can determine where you are an asshole and where I need to address something to make myself a better person.
Mostly I think you will be too lazy to fill this out or actually go on record with your thoughts but who knows anymore. I don’t think any of you assholes are going to post but at least I will give you your chance. I apologize for some of the language in this but I am leaving it in so there are no mistakes about where I stand and in the few circumstances that I use profanity it really shows what you say to me and how you treat me.